Mornings

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For a while, I would sneak down early

Start my day mindfully

Just some quiet time before the day begins.

Sometimes 15 minutes. Sometimes an hour.

I knew how to minute the creaks.

Step on the first.

Skip the second.

Around the landing.

Two steps, then skip.

Quiet the rest of the way.

Silence was mine.

And then you got older.

Or the clocks changed.

I’d hear a hushed “Dad’s up.”

Before I even hit the landing.

By the time I reached the couch I’d hear your descending pattern.

No skipped steps.

All thumps.

I’d curse myself for feeling disappointed.

I try not to let on.

As we sit together on the couch.

Still mindful

Just a different practice.

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